Tag: bulls

The streets of Pamplona ran beige with boredom

In what is normally a recipe for pain and hilarity, seasoned bull-watchers were disappointed by the last of this year’s running with the bulls. Not one idiot got gored–not one.

A couple fell and had their stupid scraped knees blown on by the Red Cross, but where was the carnage? It’s the one time of year where humans say to cows, “You know what? Sorry about McDonald’s. Here you go: free hit,” and the bulls did nothing. Even vegetarians are feeling a little less smug today.

The worst part about this is that The Guys’ annual Running with the Bulls bracket was ruined because every single one of us went over. (We play by Price is Right rules.) Granted, my bet of 10,000 might have been a little high, but what can I say? I’m a dreamer.

I can tell at least one thing wrong about that headline

Yeah, we know Japan is weird, but as usual, they manage to make weird even weirder. 143 vials of bull semen were stolen from the Miyazaki Livestock Research Institute in 2007. Why this news is coming to light now, and not, say, in 2007, I can’t begin to tell you. We can only assume that it has to be embarrassing enough to discuss the topic in the first place. Maybe Japan was hoping it would turn up somewhere they forgot to look?

Valued at 650,000 yen (the equivalent of a gazillion spacebucks), the vials were frozen in liquid nitrogen and stored in a locked container at the facility’s artificial insemination lab. The cattle that the semen was taken from brought home top honors in a national grading event, hence the reason why their juice was worth such a high price. We can only hope that whoever took the vials did the right thing and destroyed them, thus ensuring a sickly line of bulls to inhabit the world.

From HombresSeriamentes.com: Multiplying bulls

Bullfighting is probably one of the greatest sports in the world. Where else do so many people gather together to see a dangerous animal slowly and ritualistically killed? The running of the bulls is also good fun, because it teaches society that when a bull is running down the street toward you GET OUT OF THE WAY!

However, despite the bull’s many uses, it is also a threat to humanity. And despite international treaties condemning the practice, people still breed these monsters in Spain. Now, things are getting even worse, as one breeder says he wants to clone, or as they say in their country, “el clono,” a bull.

This must be stopped at once!