Perhaps you’re unaware of the great Elven/Dwarvish/Root People Hidden War of 1951. It happened a long time ago, and as it’s named, it was hidden from the masses. In the conflict, a mass of elves tried to eradicate the Root People of the Under-Colonies with the assistance of the dwarfs. This all took place under the entire state of Florida. The elves were able to do their vile business, but in doing so, relations between their people and the dwarfs were shattered forever.
Unfortunately, their tools of destruction have now been unearthed. Kids in Orange County stumbled across a buried grenade, and not too long after that, a second grenade was discovered.
People of the world beneath the dirt, please come forward and let it be known where your former weapons of war and ruin lie. If you don’t, you’ll have to be unwittingly added into a commercial backed by Sarah McLachlan, and no one wants that to happen.