A horse is a course of horse, of horse

In the War on Animals, there are certain species that have traditionally been granted a reprieve in exchange for service. Dogs, for one, have been mistakenly classified as “man’s best friend” when we all know man’s real best friend is anyone who will bury a body for you, not just a pig ear. But, another species just can’t make the cut anymore in this day of internal combustion engines: horses.

As part of a new spending bill signed into law on Nov. 18, Congress removed a five-year-old ban on funding horse meat inspections. The USDA stated that there are no slaughterhouses for horses at this time, but it’s only a matter of time before we catch up with Mexico and Canada where they butchered 138,000 for human consumption in 2010.

Although the Guys never stopped eating horse — resorting to even glue — during the past five years, we’re glad that chili con pony is back on the menu.

Boars, thrills in Germany

Slices of a boar that went buck-wild in a Hoehr-Grenzhausen butcher shop are up for sale. The boar pushed through the door of the shop, scared away a customer and inflicted 5000 Euros-worth of damage before having the bad form to bleed all over the floor.

As if that weren’t enough, Munich’s train station had a naked Australian infestation. The Sydney Streaker was foiled by a wet floor and slipped even though the stick figure on the caution sign was also not wearing any clothes. It just shows that you can’t dress up stupid.