Tag: Butler

You Missed It: The Devil’s due edition

You can smell it in the air, can’t you? It’s the smell of hot dogs, freshly cut grass, beer, and vomit. Yes, baseball season is here once again. It’s time to break out the tar, scratch yourself and spit often and for no apparent reason. If you were busy massacring The Beatles’ best work this week, odds are you missed it.

The end of March Craziness
In a case of David vs. Goliath, Good vs. Evil, Justice vs. Crime, Black vs. White, On vs. Off, Up vs. Down and Peanut Butter vs. Jelly, Butler and Duke squared off in the NCAA men’s basketball final. Missing a buzzer-beater and down by two points, Butler fell to Duke, a decision that pleased virtually no one. In other news, someone beat someone else in women’s basketball the other day.

Don’t mess with the perks of a job
Working at a brewery isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, just ask the staff at Carlsberg. Warehouse workers and truck drivers are on strike for the second day in a row. Why? It’s not because of a wage cut, or a mandate for longer hours. No, the bastards are ending their free beer policy. And this, Republicans, is why we have unions.

It took three days–seriously
A man in Oregon beat the world record for points in the video game “Asteroids” during a webcast attempt. We know what you’re thinking. Yes, ladies. He’s still available.

You Missed It: Socialized hyperbole edition

Bryan McBournie is busy this week, currently putting neckties on cats and sombreros on frogs. He really likes sitcoms. As such, I’ll be taking over for your news roundup this week. This is because I’m not busy or swamped with work at the office now; that was yesterday. If you were busy being a former Alaskan governor being granted your own reality show, odds are you missed it.

You got health care in my government

Congress made a fairly historic move by passing a federal health care bill. As a result, nearly half of the United States is horrified by this move, claiming a victim status, with the other near half furiously defending the legislation with a righteous vigor. Truly, the only victims have the been rest of us and our Facebook feed, as we’ve been subjected to nothing but misspelled text arguments. Kids, there is no letter “U” in “federal.”

The games will continue

March Craziness (copyright Bryan McBournie) continues on into the Sweet 16 round. Most of the coverage has been spent on the vaunted Cinderella teams of Northern Iowa, Saint Mary’s, Cornell, Butler and Washington. A lot of news outlets will put a positive spin on these teams, nearly to the point of inspirational. Not this guy. Northern Iowa ruined my bracket for this year and if they go down in a defeat that gives the viewers leprosy, I’m totally fine with that.

Someone’s not living up to their title

A man from Russia managed to solve what’s been decided as one of the world’s most difficult mathematical problems. His reward for doing so? One million dollars and the title of the world’s most cleverest man. He has decided to refuse the money and go back to his cockroach infested flat in Russia. Sounds like someone ain’t quite so smart-like, ain’t’cha college boy?