You’re doing it wrong

There are many different ways to have sex. The Kama Sutra lists hundreds of sexual positions, and that number is doubled if you add “in pudding” to each of them.

But, if your game includes a gun–and you’re not biatheletes–then perhaps it’s time to scale things back.

Arthur Sedille, 23, admitted to police that he killed his 50-year-old wife during sex while holding a gun to her head. Sedille claims that he was unaware that it was loaded and that they had used it often during fantasy sex sessions.

If the only way to get menopausal juices flowing is with a gun, then, son, you married too old.

(With special thanks to Sarah Lena.)