Boston evicting black bears from suburbs

Boston may be home of the Bruins, but it sure as hell refuses to be home to black bears.

A male black bear, who had originally tried to take up residence at Cape Cod and was removed, has now been found and forcibly evicted from Brookline, a Boston suburb. The bear had not purchased or signed a lease in either locality, so this was obviously an attempt by our greatest foe to squat on foreclosed properties.

The next step? Joining the Home Owners Association and forcing everyone to plant ice cream gardens.