Al Gore’s love of metal wins out

Al and Tipper Gore are calling it quits, surprising everyone only two weeks after their fortieth anniversary. While some can’t believe it happened so late in their marriage, most are amazed that they divorced before the Clintons.

In any case, the world has gained a single Al Gore, and–although we rarely get involved–we just can’t help but root the guy on.

So, if you’re single, too, and your sex life could use a human robot, have you considered Al Gore? Here’s what Al brings to the boudoir:

  • Handmade anniversary gift certificates for back rubs and carbon emissions.
  • Flights on his personal jet to any environmentally-endangered corner of the globe.
  • The dirtiest cybersex in the kinkiest chat room on the Internet that he invented.
  • Willingness to call “recounts” until sex ends in his favor.
  • Slideshows.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio.