Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye swabs! By now ye should know about this high holiday, and if ye don’t, ye can figure out how to celebrate. Let us talk about a new way to make booze while cleanin’ up the air.
Scientists agree that climate change is real, and fer we pirates, that means fewer islands to pillage because of rising sea levels, and stronger hurricanes that could sink us. But now we might be able to take carbon emissions out o’ the air and put them to good use: getting us drunk. Ph.D student Ming Ma has devised a way to take carbon emissions captured from smokestacks and turn them into a variety of chemicals, especially ethanol. Ye may know ethanol as a fancy word fer grog.
We can make alcohol from the air. What a glorious time to be a pirate.
There are people who don’t believe in science, much less global warming. Perhaps they can be persuaded by learning that we can fight global warming and get drunk at the same time.
A group of scientists at the Energy Department’s Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee (your tax dollars at work!) have accidentally figured out how to turn carbon dioxide into ethanol. Carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas, it’s the “carbon” in “carbon emissions.” Ethanol is the sciencey word for alcohol–you know, hootch. Of course, these eggheads see their discovery as a way to create cleaner burning fuel for our cars. But what it can really be used for is drinking. Cars emit all sorts of pollution and greenhouse gases. Drunk people don’t, unless you count beer farts.
Let’s save the planet by turning CO2 into booze. That’s a solution we can all drink to.
If you want to help save the environment, stay away from that salad.
Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have found that fruits and vegetables are worse for the environment than less healthy food. For example, lettuce is three times worse than bacon. That isn’t a joke. The greenhouse gasses associated with growing produce makes them worse for you than all those meaty, unhealthy foods you love so much. Commonly-eaten vegetables are among the worst. The Guys will never allow celery in our bloody Marys ever again.
Last week, 195 countries signed an agreement to reduce carbon emissions. Shouldn’t you be doing your part?