Giant robot to fight for America’s freedom, not actually all that giant

A man in America is constructing his own gargantuan piloted robot, no doubt to repel an invasion by nefarious foreign powers with their own mechanized monstrosities. And by foreign power, I totally am talking about Japan.

U.S. Army mechanic Carlos Owens put his skills to good use, developing freedom’s last hope since 2004, starting from a scale model made of wood and later moving up to cold, unfeeling metal. America’s defender is powered by a complex (but freedom-infused) network of hydraulic cables and cylinders, and stands 18 feet tall.

18 feet might not sound like much compared to the nearly 60-foot-tall Gundam at Odaiba, but Owens’ masterpiece possesses several key advantages even at this early stage. That complex (freedom-infused) hydraulic network allows the machine to move its arms and bend its knees, allowing it an unsurpassed degree of agility. So far we only observed the Gundam twisting its head, likely to gaze across the seas at its rival. Advantage: no one, since nothing is complete.

Clearly, the next step would be to place “Neo” before every country’s name, and flee to space. Everything after that will be epic.