Rabbits have a taste for fuel lines

In Colorado, it may be winter, but the animals keep up their assaults.

Travelers parking at Denver International Airport may want to think about taking a cab instead. The place is reportedly infested with rabbits, even though it’s cold outside, and these varmints are chewing the brake lines and other wiring in cars. It goes without saying that at the very least, this does thousands of dollars worth of damage. At worst, it can end up killing someone.

Sounds like it’s time to lengthen rabbit season — and duck season, while we’re at it.

Talk about hammering down on the pedal

There’s a new car source on the planet, and it’s ready to put gasoline in its place! The name of the energy source: Thorium.

Thorium is a heavy metal, barely radioactive, natural element that is three times more abundant than uranium. Yes, it’s used as a nuclear source, but let’s focus on that aforementioned characteristic: barely radioactive. It’s theorized at the moment that’s it not enough to give someone radiation poisoning, but as always, we’ll need willing participants to give it a shot first. Nonetheless, Laser Power Systems wants to give it a shot at powering down the highway.

The technology seems promising enough at the moment and there’s nothing like something that can give fossil fuels a break (if they’re not already run out by the time thorium can be used). But let’s not get too happy yet: for the most part, it’s nothing more than a really efficient battery.

Still, if thorium gets me one step closer to driving the Spider-Mobile, then I am all about it.

The Russians get all the good names

You know the game where you put a single bullet in a six-shooter and pull the trigger to see if you die? Yeah, that game is for pussies.

It’s way cooler now to do the same sort of thing, only with a car and a busy intersection. “Russian road roulette” is catching on in Bulgaria. All you do is bet on whether or not you can make it through a busy intersection running a red light, without hitting anyone else. There’s even side action for bystanders to bet on the outcome.

So now, not only can you bet with your life, but you can bet with some innocent driver’s, too!

I smell a Paul Walker movie!

MasterChugs Theater: So very speedy and angry

Trilogy is the current theme du jour of Hollywood these past 10 years or so. Understandable: by keeping a movie series in three, you can insure that an interested audience will come back to see the sequel, you can allow sequels to be open enough for new patrons and a skilled director can usually pare down the bad from the good, thus preventing the series from needing to run over and over into obscurity.

Hit the jump and allow me to educate you on the movie series that is both fast and furious. And yes, I can sum up all four movies in one review. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: So very speedy and angry

The McBournie Minute: Obama won’t buy my car

The Car Allowance Rebate System (CARS), better known as Cash for Clunkers, was supposed to go until November. Funding lasted roughly a week. Nice job on that one, guys. Good planning. This is from the same people who brought you the digital conversion rebate program–which was underfunded.

But rather than get in a government-related rant, let’s look at this a bit closer. MY CAR DIDN’T QUALIFY.

What the hell? I pay my taxes, I stand for the national anthem at baseball games, hell, I can even say the Pledge of Allegiance in Latin. America, why can’t you pay me back? All I ask for is $4,500 to go toward a new car, because let’s face it, my car just isn’t worth that. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Obama won’t buy my car

Power squeaky toys optional

Honda has shown their true colors, and they are not on our side. The car maker unveiled recently that they will sell a version of the Element to be more geared towards dogs. No, they aren’t able to drive–yet, they will simply have a much smoother ride.

Dogs will have a trunk area with a cushioned bed, a water bowl and even a ramp to get into the car. The thing is, they are pets, they are not humans, so they should not be treated as such. They should be made an example of, not catered to. They might be man’s best friend, but maybe that’s just because we keep our enemies closer.

In any case, if you leave the windows rolled up on a hot day, there is still no safety mechanism, so there’s that.

Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads

We all hate the long commute to work, at the very least, we all hate the traffic we get stuck in when we desperately need to be somewhere. Don’t you wish you could just soar over all the cars and get there on time, unimpeded? Well, you can.

The future is now, folks. We now have flying cars. Move over Scaramanga, (that’s the villain from The Man With the Golden Gun, he has a flying car, remember?) Terrafugia brings us the flying car, which does apparently work. And here you thought you weren’t paying enough for gas. The flying car had a test flight this week, and soared for a glorious 36 seconds. It landed safely and according to the company, you can drive it home. However, you may not want to take it on crowded roads, as the wings may hit other cars and kill you and several other people.

All this can be yours next year for the low, low price of $194,000, plus aviation experience.

Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Or, 25 Things About Me

I’ve been successfully ignoring Facebook for nigh-on three months when I start getting emails about friends tagging me in notes. As an Internet celebrity, that makes me nervous: who knows what my friends are saying about me when writing 25 things about themselves?

Imagine my surprise to find they had written not a got-milked thing about me! (Are you angry? Good imagining!)

So, as a service to you readers (especially the angry ones), here are 25 things about me: Continue reading Take it from Snee: My friends are emotionally needy

Yeah, I’d hit that

We here at SG are completely aware of some of the unfortunate effects of aging. We know that loss of hearing, loss of sight, tougher memory recall and hitting pedestrians with your car, then keep on going, all come with the territory, Robert Novak.

In another age related story, Golden Girl Estelle Getty died from advanced dimentia yesterday. We would like to thank the Golden Girls program for inspiring the classic Airheads to ask for naked pictures of Bea Arthur as ransom.