Breaking away from merry ol’ Blighty was a decision that paid off. Sure, mind you, in the United States, we have the state of Florida, but at least our men don’t continuously play Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.” Because in Strood, England, that definitely goes down.
After his neighbors complained, Gareth Davies had all of his audio equipment (a 3D tv, a laptop, speakers and a PS3) confiscated by the Medway Council. All due to Davies playing Dion’s hit song from the Titanic soundtrack. Seems like a little harsh, right? It was found that Davies had ignored six prior notices about the noise. Oh. That’s a lot of leniency given to an obsession over a song.
We’ve heard unconfirmed rumors that René Angélil has contacted the Medway Council, asking if they’d give his house the same ruling.
Most of the Guys may be a little young to remember 1985-1986, the year when you couldn’t escape “We Are the World.” Well, I had to participate in several performances of it all the way up to 1989. (Some music experts credit elementary schools’ adoration of the song as the progenitor of “Kidz Bop.” Think about that.)
Well, the ghosts of Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie are at it again.
Dozens of “singers”–nearly twice the number of the 1985 recording–have been invited to remake the song, with a few modified lyrics, for Haitian earthquake relief.
You’re probably wondering why I think this charitable work is a bad idea (other than that I’m horrible person who hates everything). I’m glad you kind of asked: Continue reading Take it from Snee: We, the world, say enough
It looks as though as the shark population struggles against the crushing weight of our inevitable victory, the beasts get more and more desperate. They are so desperate now that they are trying to buy us off by going after humans we don’t like.
Recently, Ryan Seacrest said he was the victim of a recent shark attack while he was on vacation. According to the American Idol host, a small shark swam up, bit him and swam off. The attack was so bad, he said, that he needed to take a few Advil that night. Likely he has also undergone counseling.
It is clearly an act of desperation, and The Guys will never bow to such attempts of bribery, especially ones that are not successful. However, if the sharks, and the animal population as a whole, still think we could be swayed, we could live in a world without:
- Jon Bon Jovi
- Tia Tequila
- Celine Dion
- Carson Daly
A few years ago, Jeff Foxworthy and a couple of his buddies got together for a stand-up comedy show they took on tour, and eventually filmed. When released on DVD, the show sold like hotcakes. But we didn’t realize what had happened. We let the toothpaste out of the tube, and all we could say in response was “GIT R DONE!”
Sure, the accent was funny, the material was fresh and it was fun to see a grown man walk around in a flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off. I admit to having seen all three Blue Collar Comedy Tour DVDs, but I never watched the television show. Larry’s occasional turn of phrase and intelligence that showed past his dumb redneck persona was pretty entertaining for a while. But then it turned into a larger problem: that’s all he does. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: I hate Larry the Cable Guy