Tag: Chapter 11

Schadenfreude: Go wild

Losing your shirt that you bought by getting drunk girls to do the same? Mm, Schadenfreude.
Losing your shirt that you bought by getting drunk girls to do the same? Thank you, Schadenfreude.

When sleazes like Joe Francis are able to exploit inebriated college girls into a multimillion-dollar empire, you’re bound to wonder why you bother following any rules at all. Why even bother showing up to work when Joe’s up there right now, banging your daughter on his private jet?

Well, the Office Morale Team is here, and we’ve brought you a whole case of 5-hour Schadenfreude drinks*: Francis’ company that produces Girls Gone Wild filed for bankruptcy, and it was mostly due to his own douchetacular f–ckuppery. The company has been forced to pay $10.3 million dollars to cover his slander of and gambling debts to casino mogul Steve Wynn.

So, even after the U.S. government failed to Al Capone him in 2007 for tax evasion, it was the gambling industry that finally dispensed our mob justice.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

*Warning! Consuming more than one 5-hour Schadenfreude drinks within a five hour timeframe can result in dizziness, nausea and diarrhea that you’re convinced does not stink.

Blame it on the high stakes world of snack foods

It’s a dark, dark day for the Twinkie, and we don’t mean it’s past its near immortal expiration date length. Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Suzy Q’s, Ding Dongs, Donettes, Sno Balls, Zingers and Wonder Bread, is filing for Chapter 11. Sadly, this is probably a very smart decision for them, financially, considering the company is more than 860 million dollars in debt.

Despite making 2.5 billion dollars in sales, it’s just not as cheap to be in the snack cake business as it used to be. Rising prices for ingredients are being given some of the blame, along with increasing labor costs. It’s a pressure cooker world, the snack cake business it is.

We can only wonder what Little Debbie, that strumpet, did to stay so long in this business. It’s probably not fit to print.