Very bad badminton, indeed

The world of badminton is caught up in an Olympic scandal: players intentionally tanking games for easier playoff matches. Eight women in all have been disqualified from the 2012 London Games after very obviously underplaying, including teams from China, South Korea and Indonesia.

The scandal reached a head when both teams in a match were actively trying to lose, with the South Koreans and Chinese each hoping to outlast the other with net serve after net serve and wide returning shots. The longest volley of the entire match — which can last up to three games — was four volleys. China eventually lost the first two matches, so that means they won?

The takeaway from this story, we guess, is that even lady athletes can act like a bag of shuttlecocks.

[Special thanks to Patrick H. for bringing this story to our attention!]

Sticking up for your penis

Just like California Gov. Jerry Brown, The Guys would like to assure you that your penis is on our minds. And by that, we mean penis health in general.

We all know that cheating increases the risk giving your partner a scorching, dripping case of the Mondays. But, did you know that you can break your dick?

This is the subject of the most important academic paper you will ever read to your penis, just to warn it that, while it’s right about your coworkers being very attractive, it’s better to just Google porn stars that look like them later in the comfort of your masturbatorium.

Sex in uncomfortable positions and locations, such as in the office or a car, can potentially break your tunica albugineathe “bone” in your boner. Or, a better way to define these places? Anywhere your regularly scheduled sex partner isn’t.

Randy buggers and right inclement weather

Winter sucks. It’s a fact. Another fact: Half the world is suffering through winter right this very second, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Here in the United States, we’ve been hit hard by cold weather and snow storms, but we’re not the only ones affected by the weather.

In the United Kingdom, people have been stuck indoors because they have gotten so much snow. And by so much, we mean millimeters, or whatever crazy measurement they use in that monarchy. So, what have English people done to pass the time indoors? They got online and went to a Web site designed for extra-marital affairs. (no, we’re not linking to it, you’re at work, remember?) received a record number of new profiles in a 24-hour period last week as a snow storm hit.

This apparently is a bad time to be married in England.

I’m taking you to lover’s court

You know how all those women are coming out saying they slept with Tiger Woods? (We’re cutting back on covering this story, we swear.) That might not be a great idea for the 10+ ladies. It seems that if you are the other man or woman responsible in breaking up a marriage, you can be sued.

This is our country.

It’s called alienation of affection, and you really don’t want to get slapped with it–at least if you live in one of the seven states that recognize it. If you happen to be the one to lose out in the love triangle, you can get over $1 million to help console you and get you through the lonely nights.

The McBournie Minute: Infidelities, screaming or not

On Saturday night, I found myself sipping a mixed drink and searching through the channels for something to watch. Finally, I came across my old standby for late night entertainment: Cheaters.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the show, people contact the show because they have suspicions that their lover is cheating on them. If the case is sexy enough, Cheaters goes in with all the investigative furvor it can muster. Hidden cameras, night vision, stake outs and research are all employed and compiled until, surprisingly enough, it turns out the lover is indeed cheating. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Infidelities, screaming or not