MasterChugs Theater: ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’

For many people, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas-themed comedy ever filmed. Personally, I make it habit to watch this movie about ten million times between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Even after seeing the film so many times, Christmas Vacation remains as hilarious and entertaining as the previous holiday season. More than just a seasonal film, it’s one of those rare comedies that’s near perfect from beginning to end. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’

Eat My Sports: Popcorn links all

As you’ve seen by now, Bryan Schools is taking a much needed marriage-based vacation (we currently believe he’s desecrating Rome as you read this very sentence). That’s why we’re all taking turns at his column.

Wait, hold up, come back. I know that being the movie guy on this site, I might not be the first guy you think of to write about sports. “He writes about movies! His news posts involve video games and cooking and aliens spore pods and Angelina Jolie’s hiney!”

Heh. You just said hiney.

And yet. If I must validate myself, my credentials include this: 4 years of high school football (one year in which my team went undefeated and won a state championship), 4 years of high school basketball, around 2 decades of being a consistent season ticket attendee of UVa football games (vainglorious in defeat!) and a better ability to discuss both the management and player sides of the NFL, NBA and NCAA than most meatheads. There, I have now swung my manly e-penis.

But you know what? All of that doesn’t really matter to me that much, and it shouldn’t matter to you all that much either. Why? Because we’re going to talk about movies. You see, movies permeate our existence-that is fact. It’s debatable whether books or movies give us a deeper look at the inner thoughts of a person, but seeing as how I’m a visual type of guy, I think you can figure out my choice. So yes, movies, are awesome-especially sports movies. Even if you’ve never been a member of a sports team, sports movies allow us to get a glimpse at how those things work. Can we be “the I in team” and still win, or do we need to function as one cohesive unit? Is it easy being a star athlete or are they as foible as you and I?

That’s why we’re going to take a quick glimpse at the 5 Best Sports Movies. Hit the jump to see them. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Popcorn links all

You Missed It: Random award edition

A long time ago, a man named Columbus discovered the New World for Europeans. He explored the vast new land found in several voyages, and brought civilization (and smallpox) to the local native population. We celebrate that event by giving a handful of people a Monday off. If you are one of them, I hate you. If you were busy blowing up the moon, odds are you missed it.

It’s not special if everybody gets one
President Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize this week, despite only being in office for 11 days before the nomination deadline. Obama is widely credited for his peaceful negotiations that convinced the Bush administration to vacate the White House. He joins Theodore Roosevelt (who won for letting the Japanese and Russians kill each other for a while) and Woodrow Wilson (who peacefully told Germany that the Great War was all their fault, solving the problem forever) as the only sitting presidents to win the prize.

The parks that booze built
Anheuser Busch InBev said this week that it would sell the theme parks it picked up when InBev bought Anheuser Busch. Say, Disney’s been buying up stuff lately. Maybe they’ll be interested. Then you could get tanked with Tinkerbell!

‘This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy’
Did you think you had seen the last of the Vacation movies? Man, you were wrong! We’re going to get ANOTHER damn movie, only this time, it’s going to be following Rusty and his family. Which Rusty we’ll be following remains to be seen.

You Missed It: The vomitting means it’s working edition

At the climax of another week, but really, what is there to look forward to? Football season is over, there’s another week until Valentine’s Day. Right now it’s just cold and boring. I know, we can celebrate Ronald Reagan’s birthday! Another week saved. If you were busy eeking by a team you should have blown out in the Super Bowl, odds are you missed it.

Food kits should come with antibiotics
The panic of the salmonella infected peanut butter may be over at this point for most, but not for the federal government. Food kits from FEMA were discovered this week to contain peanut butter that could be contaminated, which means people in need could end up sickening themselves. But don’t worry, aid still has not made it to New Orleans, so there is plenty of time for the kits to be recalled.

Where you lat?
This week, Google released a new friend-tracking program called Google Latitude. The program allows smartphone and PC users to let their friends know where they are and track where their friends are. Because, you know, it’s so much easier than to actually talk to someone now and then. No word yet as to when people will be able to track both the latitude and longitude of their friends, family members and exes.

Where is Peter Sellers buried? I feel like dancing
It’s every comic’s nightmare–waking up one day and realizing no one thinks you’re funny anymore. To the list of Chevy Chase, Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal, add the name Steve Martin. Sure, technically he was on there a long time ago, but unlike the others, Martin is still making movies. Today, he unleashes his latest abomination, The Pink Panther 2, which is opening to terrible reviews, even for a February release. Next up, Martin plans to team up with fellow ham Eddie Murphy to remake Silver Streak.

First new Late Show failure coming up

It happens every time the annointed King of Late Night announces his retirement: the courtiers battle for the not-yet-vacant throne.  This post isn’t about that: we already know that Conan will be the new Leno king … but that is another story.

No, this is about the scurry to fill the other late night slots once the hosts shift around.  For every Craig Ferguson, there is an ill-fated Magic Johnson or Chevy Chase.  They’re the virgin sacrifice to the Safe Comedy Gods, getting some TV time for a week or less, then slaughtered to ensure a solid ten years of unchallenging celebrity jokes.

The first sacrifice has been announced: Jimmy Fallon will most likely take over Conan’s Late Show.  May the Gods be sated with his blood.

Eat My Sports: Houston, we don’t have a problem

This is the part of the NBA season where I get interested. No, not because my Knicks are making a late-season surge into the putrid Eastern Conference playoff standings, not because those “Where ____ Happens” commercials are appealing (side note: someone should really take a stand alone shot of Nick Anderson in the 1995 NBA Finals and write “Where $#!% Happens”). It’s because I find a team to latch on to and root for them for about six to eight weeks because it’s the only thing happening where a game means something. And for those of you attempting to call me out on abandoning my team, the last time the Knicks made a legitimate playoff appearance was in 2001, the 2004 appearance with Stephon “Thanks for sending another franchise down the drain” Marbury never happened in my mind. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Houston, we don’t have a problem