You Missed It: Front and center edition

The World Cup is here. No, really, it is. I had the same reaction, myself, “Hey, is that the international soccer thing?” Turns out, yes it is, and they play it only once every four years. It’s like the Olympics of soccer–if the Olympics didn’t have soccer. If you were busy getting your iPad hacked, odds are you missed it.

Helen Thomas retires, wig’s fate uncertain
Reporter Helen Thomas goes against the grain. First off, she’s a woman reporter, and she’s been one much longer than society trusted females with writing news stories. On top of that, she’s an anti-Semite (take THAT, everyone who thinks “the Jews” control the media!). Thomas, who has been part of the White House Press corps. since the Lincoln administration, stepped down this week after she said in a video interview that Israelis should go home and give Palestine back. The Jews who control the media were not pleased.

Chicago has only one cursed team left
The Chicago Blackhawks are the latest team to end a championship drought, after winning the Stanley Cup this week. The Blackhawks defeated the Philadelphia Flyers in six games. This is Chicago’s first Cup since 1961, and means a lot to–hey! HEY! Come back, I’ll move on. I promise.

What you talkin’ ’bout, Shannon?
Right on time, the fight for Gary Coleman’s legacy has begun. Despite being divorced since 2008, Shannon Price believes she has the final say over Coleman’s estate, especially his money. Oh, and she also sold a picture of herself with him on his death bed to tabloids. Has anyone told this grave gold digger that Gary Coleman really didn’t have that much money?