Tag: choking

Darwin Award round-up

The Darwin Awards are a great and noble honor that are bequeathed unto only the most special of people in our society. And by special, I don’t mean “that kid is awesome,” I mean “that guy that used a traffic cone for a beer bong and the guys holding the bong are so stupid.” As such, sometimes it’s important to point out the people in life that should probably be nominated. Let’s take a long at some, shall we?

-A sixteen year old has decided that the best thing to do to herself, at an age where body and aesthetics are everything, is to give herself a pair of fangs akin to those found on some of the people in Twilight.

–A Texas man nearly died choking on a plastic salad fork. As such, he’s stated that he will never eat healthy food again.

-A collection of teenagers in California have become severely ill after ingesting a wild plant in the hopes of getting high off of it. Who would’ve thought that a random wild plant could possibly be fatal to a human being?

The McBournie Minute: The menace that is food

The world is a dangerous place, and that goes double if you are a small child. Why, if you aren’t watched carefully, you are liable to choke yourself to death inside a plastic bag. Children are incredibly stupid, I believe science can back me up on that one.

As you may have heard, the American Academy of Pediatrics said earlier today that there should be labels on types of food that are choking hazards for small children. Hot dogs, grapes and small carrots rank among the most deadly for young children.

I know what you’re thinking. Back in my day, we ate out hot dogs cut up and dunked in ketchup. We didn’t get to eat whole hot dogs on a bun. No, we ate it sliced and we liked it that way. Does that mean that I had parents who actually paid attention to simple dangers as most parents should, thus negating the need for these labels in the first place? Hell no! In fact, I agree with the AAP. I think we need labels on more than just the types of foods they listed. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The menace that is food