You Missed It: Free as a bird edition

"We liberated this bird sanctuary from the evil federal government."
“We liberated this bird sanctuary from the evil federal government.”

I’m pretty sure I’m just watching The Walking Dead so I know what the hell people are talking about. I know it’s one of the biggest shows right now, but it’s felt tedious for about half of its existence. It takes place in a world where only whiny or awful people are able to escape the zombie apocalypse. The group we follow keeps running into bad dudes at the beginning of each season, so they kill them off and torch their homes in every season finale. Each time, the heroes get harder to root for. The show isn’t working toward anything. It’s just there to keep moving, which it is happy to tell us in the speeches its characters make 30 times an episode. If you were busy avoiding spoilers this week, odds are you missed it.

Oppressive government fails to convict those it oppresses
Remember that group of white guys that took over a federal wildlife refuge for no clear reason and even fewer supplies? You know, the ones who were so oppressed by the federal government that they took their rifles and played soldier on federal land for a few weeks? Seven members of Y’all Qaeda, including the Bundy brothers, were acquitted on federal conspiracy and firearms charges. Any moment now, Donald Trump is going to brag about the seven votes he just got.

North Korean flag not red, just wine-stained
This week it was reported that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has quite a taste for alcohol. A Japanese sushi chef who recently visited Kim said he is drinking and eating as much as ever. He even boasted of drinking 10 bottles of red wine at one meal. Many question whether Kim suffers from alcoholism, but the real issue here is who drinks red wine with sushi?

Jesus’ tomb to be opened
Researchers in Jerusalem are excavating part of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus. They hope to open the tomb and make it available for tourists one day. But if you read the book, you already know Jesus isn’t in there.