Tag: circus

Shocking headline of the day

Attention readers in Amsterdam: Be on the lookout for several dangerous subjects who have reportedly busted out of jail. They are said to be furry and smell kind of bad.

Folks, this is why we need to kill all the animals, every now and then they get out of captivity and run amok, endangering us all. The most recent incident was in Amsterdam this week, when several different kinds of animals worked together to get out of a circus, or as we call them, traveling POW camps.

A giraffe, according to the headline, gathered “troops,” which means 15 camels, a few llamas and a potbellied pig for comic relief. The giraffe kicked open a fence and led its squadron of animalism into the Dutch dawn.

Zebras really don’t change their stripes

It’s spring time along the Chesapeake, and clearly the animals know it, because they are coming out of hiding, most likely with fresh plans to attack and kill us all. Not only are the merciless pandas repopulating, but snakes are going after the region’s travelers.

Now, it seems they are hatching their evil plans of world domination by breaking out from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. This blog warned something like this could happen if the two mega-circuses (circi?) were allowed to merge. In Baltimore, drivers are used to seeing some weird stuff, but Thursday they saw zebras running around downtown. Luckily, they were rounded up before they could hold up too much traffic.

Then this blog found another startling revelation:

“The same three zebras, plus a fourth, made a similar escape in June during the circus’ visit to Colorado Springs.”

The nation’s capital is now in peril, as the circus has turned its sights to Washington. Earlier today, there were rumors that elephants–not GOP members–were strolling down amongst federal government buildings as evidenced here in this real picture. We need to fight back! Can’t we shoot someone out of a cannon at these monsters?