Tag: Clay Aiken

He shoots, he scores

Some men have real prestigious claims to fame, like being President of the United States, anyone who can find a succesful way to date Megan Fox and a stripper, or being Tom Brady. However in this case in South Australia, one man has impregnated 30 LESBIANS. Is there some sort of medal for this?

Greater odds than impregnating 30 lesbians:
–Clay AIken actually being gay
–Brazilian military assisting the animals in the war
-Cubs win World Series

You Missed It: Publicity stunt edition

Is it just us, or did September pass by far too quickly? By the time You Missed It comes around next Friday, it will be October, which more or less makes it officially Dead Leaf Season, better known as fall. Sure it may already be fall, but September never really feels like fall. October, on the other hand, can be associated with nothing but autumn. If you were busy watching the leaves turn this week, odds are you missed it.

Debating at the debate? Well that’s debatable
This week, Sen. John McCain announced he was suspending his campaign so that he could hunker down and fix the economy with the rest of Congress. He also said the debate scheduled for tonight should be moved, but when Sen. Barack Obama disagreed, McCain threatened not to show up unless real progress was made on the issue. The result remains yet to be seen, however, as of last night, if you had Washington Mutual in your office bank death pool, you win!

If he was invisible, he’d sneak into your closet
In shocking celebrity news, former American Idol contestant/elf-looking thing Clay Aiken came out of the closet and revealed that he is in fact gay. This came as a shock virtually no one, but that did not stop the article from making the cover of Obvious Statements Magazine.

You invented fireworks and you’re just getting to space now?
On Thursday (or maybe it was Friday there, who knows?) The Chinese launched their third manned space mission into, well, space. The Long March rocket (named that because the Chinese see the commute to space is seen as a walk of a great distance) lifted the three Chinastronauts into space, where they will attempt the program’s first space walk, which will again, be a long march.

Here’s the damn rum, now go away
It was revealed earlier today that Disney has signed Johnny Depp for a fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. The working title of the new movie is Pirates of the Caribbean: Plunderin’ Yer Wallet.

Take it from Snee: Why does Hollywood have a closet?

As a junkie for hard-hitting, earth-shattering news, I was floored yesterday.

There are drama queens who think they are floored, and then there was me: F-L-O-O-R-E-D. “Floo” and “red.” Julie came home to find me a quivering ball of twisted manflesh, unable to lift a hand from the office carpet. For lack of a better modifier, I was f–king floored.

What had me in such a gravity-conscience predicament? Clay Aiken and Lindsay Lohan came out of the closet. On the same day.

No, not with each other. Straight people don’t live in closets. Aside from the occasional pantry-dweller, us breeders live in rooms.

Fortunately, yesterday’s news was enough to raise one nagging question, which in turn got me off the floor and back to the keyboard: why is there still a closet in Hollywood? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Why does Hollywood have a closet?

Shocker

Clay Aiken, showing the true measure of a man (sorry, I couldn’t resist), opened up to People Magazine by revealing that he is in fact, gay. People, long known for giving in the closet stars their way out of living in secrecy (see:  Degeneres, Ellen and Bass, Lance) decided to shoot the cover while having AIken hold his newborn son. No word yet as to whether this will help boost sales of his latest effort “A Thousand Different Ways” but we’ll be the first to let you know if there are any future hook-ups with Ruben Studdard in the near future.