Well, with the exception of LeBron James, nothing is of any pertinence when it comes to Cleveland. The Browns? Pff. The Cavaliers? Blah. The Indians? Yeah right. The Rock Hall of Fame? BWA-HAHAHAHAHA.
And obviously, their drivers aren’t too worthy of being known for their good driving habits.
“Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus.”
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Bryan McBournie is gone for the day. I won’t tell you where he is, but I’ll just say that what he’s doing rhymes with “pot neing a bedophile.” As such, your favorite (emphasis mine) fill-in writer, me, will have to satisfy your SeriousDesire. Look into my eyes. You know you want it. Just think of it as Christmas in July, even the Jewish people. If you were too busy popping any recalled pills so that you could get extra strength awesome (and by awesome, I mean ouch), odds are you missed it.
When Internet Doves Cry
The musician known as Prince that was then formerly known as Prince and now is known once again as Prince has declared that the internet is over, which has put our website into a little bit of a worry, seeing as how we’re web-based and all. The artist from Minnesota stated that the internet has become like MTV, outdated and that digital devices just fill your head with numbers. Of course, we’re thinking that he’s simply a little perturbed since there’s no key on a QWERTY keyboard for the “symbol.”
There’s a New King In Town
Heralded NBA player Lebron James, after months of deliberation and much press, has finally made his decision about where he will play next year. The hallowed “King” James has decided that the city where he will play in for the 2010-2011 season is Miami, as a member of the Miami Heat, alongside other superstar free agents Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. He leaves the Cleveland Cavaliers after 7 seasons as a Cav.
This Just In
The city of Cleveland is no more and has become a victim of a self-inflicted scorched Earth policy.
New Cheese Flavored Alzheimer’s Cure
A study at a university involving old rats has shown that they’re starting to retain their memories after losing them. This is great news, as even the derivative of the compound given to the rats appears to be even better at protecting memory neurons. Another great benefit: now we can remember just how many rats we killed, along with how many more we need to.
Not since the Summer of George has an off-season been met with so much anticipation. LeBron James’ pending free agency has been the topic of debate since the beginning of the 2007-2008 season, and the subject of much planning in the New York Knicks’ front office ever since finally getting rid of Isaiah Thomas.
LeBron should stay in Cleveland. He’s the hometown hero, the second coming of Jordan, he could end a 46-year professional sports’ title drought in a city mainly known for having their football fans dress up like basset hounds. Continue reading Eat My Sports: LeBron voyage
So we’re down to the final four of the NBA season in what has to be considered (at least through two rounds) one of the top five playoffs of all-time. But given we still have almost a full month of basketball left, let’s look at the two conference finals, and approach the task at hand. How will each one shake out? So glad you asked, let’s take a look at my expert opinion.
Denver Nuggets vs. Los Angeles Lakers
Denver is the fashionable pick to take out Kobe Bryant and the other 11 Europeans he plays with, and this makes fashion sense. The Houston Rockets, minus Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady, exposed the Lakers for what they really are, selfish, unprepared, cocky and soft. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Championship basketball
This week could not be limited to one topic. With so much happening in the sports world this past week, how could I let you, my loyal readers, be cheated by anything other than full coverage of this little circus? And by loyal readers, I mean that this week I’m pretending that people actually write me with questions that they want answers. So, if any of you actually read this, this is what you would be asking me this week.
Bryan, your old pal Manny Ramirez was busted for steroids this week. Given your harsh stance on A-Rod, do you feel the same way about Manny, or was it different because he did it for your Sox?
-Tim S, Lansing, Michigan
If you guys should know anything about me now, is that I will not forgive or pardon any steroid user. I’m thankful that what happened with Manny happened in Los Angeles, however, Manny’s namesake is now sullying reputations of guys like David Ortiz and Pedro Martinez simply because of association. And for guys like that who I will always hold a special place for, it’s wrong, but sadly unavoidable.
The main question I’ve been hearing come up is now the Hall of Fame issue. Should these guys be allowed in? And unfortunately I’m going to have to say “yes.” It’s leaking out that so many were doing it that from a media perspective you have to look at it and say that the playing field was to some degree, level. Does it excuse them? No, but people like Ramirez and Rodriguez will forever have their names associated with steroids, which I think in some respects, is punishment enough. (PS, I completely understand Manny’s mood swings now, he was pregnant for almost eight years in Boston, it all makes sense.) Continue reading Eat My Sports: Mailbag edition
Last year you guys might remember me musing about how the NBA got the MVP call wrong by basically handing out a lifetime achievement award to Kobe Bryant. Well this year they got it wrong too.
Don’t get me wrong, I think LeBron James is great for the league, he’s an inspirationally leader, media magnet, and needs to make more commercials for The LeBrons. But as for the MVP of the 2008-2009 NBA season, sorry guys, look south, way south. Continue reading Eat My Sports: MVP wrong again
