Why, hello there, patient readers. Like everyone else in the DC area, I’ve been pretending to be snowed in by rain and two very wet inches of snow.
You know how they started naming winter storms this year? We called ours the Snowquester. Get it? Because people who live within 100 miles of the nation’s capitol only exist from one political event to another.
So, while I try to remember that, essentially, man is good (even when they name everything with puns based on terms from Civics class), I figured I’d answer a few letters. As always, thanks for emailing instead of licking envelopes during the cold and flu season. Continue reading Ask Dr. Snee: Snowed in with your letters
They call it Old Media for a reason. (It’s old.) It’s slow, outdated and turned into such a massive conglomeration that it can’t move as nimbly as it did in the pioneering days of David Strathairn Edward R. Murrow. Print media is going the way of the woolly mammoth. Wait–that might not be such a bad thing.
Though we’ve been talking aboutitforyears, the media is just catching on to the whole “science could bring back the mammoth and kill us all” thing. Well, not all media, just the English, who can’t be trusted anyway.
The hard-hitting journalists of the Land of the Anglos sought to find out if it’s really worth bringing back the woolly mammoth, a species our relatives killed off for us along ago.
“It’s like asking if we could play the next World Cup on the Moon – yes, but the money needed would be unbelievable,” says Professor Barry Fuller, an expert in low-temperature science and tissue preservation at University College London. “Better to focus on conserving the animals we already have.”
Fuller, we don’t know you personally, but we don’t like you. First off, soccer is boring enough as it is. The last thing we need is for it to be played in a low-gravity setting. Think about how many balls would go out of bounds and just keep going.
Secondly, no, it’s not a good idea to conserve the animals we already have. That money would be better spent eliminating the animals we already have. It’s called the war effort, Fuller. Get with it.
This “groundbreaking” achievement was done under the guise of helping science learn what makes some species die off and some survive. Hey scientists, news flash, WE cause the extinction of animals, and we only save the ones that are cute and/or can’t be turned into clothing.
This blog knows better than to believe science–about anything. The real reason they wanted to map the DNA of the woolly mammoth is so that they can bring it back and set a herd of them up on an island in a theme park. (Say, someone should write a book about this.)
We don’t need any more animals to fight, especially ones we already defeated. Did the Romans clone Hannibal so they could sack Carthage again? NO!
Bullfighting is probably one of the greatest sports in the world. Where else do so many people gather together to see a dangerous animal slowly and ritualistically killed? The running of the bulls is also good fun, because it teaches society that when a bull is running down the street toward you GET OUT OF THE WAY!
However, despite the bull’s many uses, it is also a threat to humanity. And despite international treaties condemning the practice, people still breed these monsters in Spain. Now, things are getting even worse, as one breeder says he wants to clone, or as they say in their country, “el clono,” a bull.