Poland invents a box to keep your boners in


As we wait with baited breath to find out who will bring about the American apocalypse over the next four years, let’s distract ourselves with news from Poland.

Lindner, a Polish coffin company, has ruffled some Catholic feathers with their latest ad campaign, a calendar featuring topless models posing with their product line. The Church has condemned the calendar, saying that, “Human death should be treated with solemnity and not mixed up with sex.” This is a departure from Catholicism’s usual position that there is nothing they can’t associate with sex, like employment, medicine and child care.

Zbigniew Lindner, the firm’s owner, has his own idea: “We wanted to show that a coffin isn’t a religious symbol. Its a product. Why are people afraid of coffins and not of business suits, cosmetics or jewelry?”

Amen, Mr. Lindner. Because nothing gets a younger woman hotter than primo taste in coffins. You know, if you’re a rich, 90-year-old oil baron.