UPDATE: Justice is served

This will surely brighten up your morning: the humpback whale calf in Australia has been killed, after a swift trial near Sydney.

We told you Wednesday that it was facing such a penalty and we are please to announce that the legal system works indeed. It was reported shortly after our Wednesday story that the calf, which Australians named Colin, as a mockery, attempted to escape during the night. The whale could not out swim the long arm of the law, and was recaptured and executed like the criminal it was.

The last meal was said to be plankton.

In other news, the Olympics are one of the most sacred traditions of professional sports. It is a time when countries put aside their squabbles (except for Russia) and compete on a level playing field, the field of sport. Leave it to the animals to try to ruin an event of such goodwill for us.

It was announced yesterday that four horses were suspended from the Olympics for doping. The animals, likely involved in the equestrian events, hail from Norway, Ireland, Brazil and Germany. Clearly this is a sign of a more organized effort on their part to sully the Olympics once and for all.

As punishment, all four horses were euthanized on the track Eight Belles style.