It’s March Mental Illness Awareness Month, and that means college basketball and illegal gambling on it. We hope your bracket is still intact, and your manhood is recovering nicely.
Apparently some urologists report seeing a big increase in vasectomies this time of year, and they believe it’s because of March Madness. The doctors say many men schedule their vasectomies now so they can sit around watching basketball and be free of harassment. This is ingenious, if it really is a nationwide trend. Not only do you get your wife to leave you alone, but you can get a few days of paid medical leave while you recover.
We made it through that whole thing without making a ball joke. Look at us.
For years, white people have wondered when we would get our own history month. As we look around from the window of not-a-jail-cell, we see Black History Month, Black Entertainment Television, the Source Awards, and yet all we get are some lousy Oscars, 42-out-of-43 presidents and rehab.
Well, it’s high time we bucked up. There is a White History Month, Virginia, and there’s only a week left of it. So, let’s get celebrating!
[OK, so if you’re new to this site, you’re probably here to explain why we don’t need a White History Month. And, I agree with you: the other 11 months of the year work just fine as is, and giving honkies our own month is one of those lame #ALLlivesmatter responses to merely suggesting we learn about anyone else’s contributions to the world.
But, if we look at actual behavior, then I think we can all agree that there is a White History Month. And it’s definitely March.]
As you may have heard, Bryan Schools leading a protest against his hometown’s new AA baseball team, the Richmond Flying Squirrels. He’s at their field The Diamond (this play oozes originality) saying he doesn’t want a mascot named Nutzy. Last we heard he climbed one of the light posts armed with a bottle of whiskey and is refusing to come down.
So until next week, I, Bryan McBournie, will be filling in, which makes sense, since a power outage yesterday kept me from posting my own weekly column. I’m here with all the regular sports expertise I am known for (none). Since there’s really only one thing that matters right now in the sports world: March Madness.
I’d like to be clear on this point: I know nothing about college basketball. I don’t much care about basketball as a sport, and the whole March Madness thing had been lost on me–until this year. Due to some peer pressure, I made a bracket for my office pool. Now, I’m sitting in 13th place out of 25, and have the highest potential points left. How did I do it?