Tag: college

Take it from Snee: This just ain’t healthy

So I quit smoking. No, no — please hold your applause until the end.

I’ve always been a pretty healthy guy. I work out. I don’t eat a lot of sugar, salt or arsenic. I only drink on weekends, but I always use that time productively by getting really drunk and designated driving. I don’t always use a condom when I’m treating myself to a prostitute, but I always ask if they have any on them. (If they don’t, it means they’re clean.)

So, I guess it made sense to quit smoking. I mean, why would I otherwise put in all that other effort to stay healthy?

Ah, but then I did some reading. Despite this latest endeavor, I’m still not healthy. Continue reading Take it from Snee: This just ain’t healthy

Truthful Headline of the Day

CNN didn’t pull any punches with today’s Headline of the Day: “A puking bride, crazy squirrel and a fire.”

No, it’s not a bunch of highlights from a Passover holiday special — it’s about weddings, which is a hot topic this time of year. Chances are, if you’ve recently graduated college, you have about 20 of these to go to all year.

If you’re lucky, maybe you, too, will have an interesting story to tell. Unless it’s open-bar; then there are no stories to remember.

‘This isn’t Vietnam … there are rules’

As part of our ongoing coverage of “Summer is here” — which will continue until mid-October — there’s an element we’ve forgotten: driving around.

For our high school and college readers, this is the time that you and your peers are bored and will drive around, pretending that going nowhere is “something.” For the adults, this means you’re going to a lot of stores with wedding and baby registries.

Without fail on any of these excursions, an argument will arise about the rules to calling Shotgun and Rock-Paper-Scissors (or Roshambo to non-South Park viewers). We’d normally use this as an excuse to write a How To, but someone has beaten us to it and done so throughly.

We suggest sending this link to that friend that calls Shotgun during the planning stages of your Warped Tour trip in August.

Fun Fact:
“The history of calling ‘Shotgun’ goes back to the days of covered wagons and the Wild West. On a trip across the plains, the driver of a wagon would hold the reins of his horse team and concentrate on driving. This left him and the occupants of his wagon susceptible to sneak attacks from bandits and thieves. To avoid this atrocious circumstance it became necessary for one person to sit next to the driver with a shotgun and fend off the enemy.”

Take it from Snee: I am an American-American

Not too long ago, I wrote about my harrowing experience at a Taco Bell where the cashier refused to speak English. (Despite my best efforts, she also refused to go home. Taco Bell, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers!) At the end of that piece, I promised to fulfill my new calling: combating injustice in the United States of America. If you recall, I also asked all of you to do the same.

Imagine my shock to find that the entire country has ignored my cause. Maybe I spoke too much truth, because the truth hurts and there are a lot of defensive people out there. I am encountering even more assaults on my American-American roots. That’s right: I’m so American that I’m a minority amongst Americans. Continue reading Take it from Snee: I am an American-American

Take it from Snee: About college shootings

Today is an important milestone for SeriouslyGuys: we’ve hit the two-year mark. In the past year alone, we’ve made huge changes. We write more (which might be good or bad). We switched over to our own hosting and got rid of Blogger. We changed our look to blend more seamlessly into the AIDS quilt that is Web 2.0. We even consented to selling merch to pay for our hosting and domain. And we couldn’t do any of it without you, the reader, and your wallet.

According to some Facebook profile, Ronald Reagan said, “The right thing is not always popular, and the popular thing is not always right.” We’ve awarded the President of Our Hearts posthumous Guy status for this statement (and for eating communist babies to make more room in the world for capitalist ones).

For the past two years, The Guys have taken some tough stands that weren’t always popular. While the rest of the world TiVos Animal Planet, Planet Earth and Planet of the Apes, we advocate taking the world back for humans before its too late and we’re all speaking dolphin. Everyone believes that more education will improve America; we know that’s hogwash. A lot of “experts” out there suggest we drink in moderation; if we did that, you wouldn’t have this Web site to make your work week more bearable.

This tradition of righteousness compels me to take a stand on college shootings.

Continue reading Take it from Snee: About college shootings