And there was much Ran Ran Ruu-ing

War Journal, Entry 3456:

We finally found the body of Colonel Sanders. Well, at least, most of it. He was in Japan. It wasn’t pretty. The cause of death? Drowning. Three-legged chicken breasts were served at the funeral.”

The Colonel ended up at the bottom of the river in 1985, when delirious Hanshin Tigers fans celebrating the team’s first Central League title in 21 years decided the figure bore a striking resemblance to Tigers slugger Randy Bass and, lifting it off its base in front of the Dotonbori Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise, gave the Colonel a victory toss.

It just goes to show that that no matter where you’re from, when your team wins, you gotta trash something.