What a surprise

Community college faculty and students decided that a four-day work week beats working five days a week.

In unrelated news: potsmokers prefer everything kept in reach of the couch.

Also, this just in: readers believe that the book is better than the movie … unless they’re writing a book repor–

We interrupt the end of this report with this emergency breaking news:

Water’s wet, but only when you touch it.

We now return to the original story in progress.

— because college students are lazy.