Save the world, eat a cheeseburger

Often, we think of our animal foes as stupid. When compared to us, they are pretty dumb. However, it seems that each of them has some sort of special gift to offer, aside from tastiness. And when that gift is shared with the rest of its animal allies their special gifts make for one formidable enemy.

Scientists who have been studying cows (where can we sign up for an exciting job like that?) have determined that the lowly beasts have some sort of inner compass, which helps them determine north and south. This, of course, is important for orienteering.

With a sense of north and south, reading and navigating by maps is made considerably easier. This means the hated animals will gain a significant tactical asset. We cannot allow this. That is why you must have McDonald’s for lunch today.