First things first: happy birthday, DARPA! You’re 50 now, which means soon you’ll be the cranky and incontinent organizational hand of the government yet. Yes, you’ve led quite a life, haven’t you? We won’t go over it, what with you being old and liable to die soon, so, just what have you been up to lately?
Why, it seems you’ve been attempting to make people cry havoc and let loose the … bugs of war? What’s that you say? You want to help in this valiant war against animals by stuffing a bunch of computer chips and whatnot into the body of larvae, thus creating a half machine, half bug servant? Well, I can dig that. But, won’t that create the fuel for a bio-mechanical war if the technology gets proliferated by another country (Brazil, I’m looking at you)? What? You say that ants have been doing that sort of thing already for eons on end? So, essentially, you’re turning those six-legged monsters into servants that can actually be useful? I see! Oh DARPA, you’re still crafty after all this time! Don’t ever believe anything that the Department of Agriculture says about you!