Sacre Bleu! Not ze hobos!

A new Internet game is taking France by storm, but upsetting everybody else. Zut alor! Clodogame (which translates as Trampgame) is a hobo simulator in which players start off as a penniless street bum and must work their way up the food chain to become “king of the streets” and “the most talented tramp in Paris.”

Trampgame invites virtual vagrants to attack other homeless folk, become a “peerless pickpocket,” steal coins from candy machines, public toilets and laundrettes, play instruments and choose pets in order to increase their success as beggars, and take control of their alcohol intake. It’s unfortunate that there is no English version, as it does sound as if hobocide can be committed in the game. Score!

Of course, because some people take the Internet too seriously (despite the Internet being serious business), charity organization the Red Cross is among those who have stepped in to criticize Trampgame:

“It’s a disgrace, it’s degrading, it’s humiliating to make the homeless the butt of derision. The image portrayed is exactly the one against which we’ve been trying to fight.”

Why are they so concerned? It’s not like homeless people have a computer to play it on.

Maybe he can face some theoretical jail time?

Let’s be honest here, people: there should probably be some technical terms for multiple levels of stupid. For now I’ll just make some up: if you have to gauge the actions of the guy in this story and your choices are A Little Slow, Stone Cold Stupid, Colossal Moron and Drooling Vegetable, it would fall somewhere between the third and the fourth. What happened here is that an eighteen year old Johnson County, Indiana resident decided to announce he was planning to hijack a plane. While playing World of Warcraft. Remember, geeks do their crimes online.

It’s been reported that the teen was playing the game yesterday morning when he announced that he

“was going to board a plane at 7:30 to Chicago and that (he) was going to try and kill as many Americans as possible”.

Which totally doesn’t imply suicide at all, moron.

A facilitator from an online gaming center reported the kid after hearing him repeat himself a few times. When confronted, the teen at first said that someone hacked into his computer, then backpedaled and said he was just kidding around. How humbling it must be to have your e-penis so swiftly and suddenly confiscated!

A rep from Blizzard who had gone over the chat logs said they seemed very serious and not like a joke at all. In the meantime, the teen’s computer has been seized by the FBI, who are looking further into the case. Charges could possibly be filed with the U.S. Attorney’s office, but it hasn’t gone that far yet. I bet he’s not allowed to play WoW anymore, which could possibly be the end of his world.