Tag: consumer

Important consumer tip

Watch out, consumers! No matter how tempting it is, no matter what promises they may make, no matter how wonderful it sounds, DO NOT buy the magic cheese.

A French man is being accused of selling kits to make “magic cheese.” French officials have been dispatched to Chile to investigate the customers claims and to determine if it is indeed a pyramid scheme. Authorities claim Gilberte Van Erpe sold magic cheese to customers in Chile as an ingredient for French beauty products.

Also, if you eat it, it gives you the ability to fly, walk through the Great Wall of China, and make the Statue of Liberty disappear.

Coke products will not save your life

The Coca-Cola Company is facing an FDA warning about Diet Coke Plus and a lawsuit from the Center for Science in the Public Interest (a consumer group) about VitaminWater, both alledging that the company makes false claims about their health benefits.

Diet Coke Plus recieved its warning because it “[violates] U.S. against marketing soda and other snack foods as more nutritious.” In Coke’s defense, it is more nutritious than, say, vitamin-enriched cocaine, which has not been an additive in their taste-test-losing formula since 1903.

VitaminWater, which is not a Web site (contrary to its edgy .com spelling), is under fire because Coke prints little nutritional tidbits on their bottles like, “defense,” “rescue,” “energy,” and “endurance.” CSPI is also upset because the bottles neglect to mention that the sugar-content does not defend or rescue drinkers from obesity and diabetes.

It is this blog’s duty to remind you that only one beverage can actually improve your health, unlike water, which just makes you thirsty for beverages with taste: booze.