Worst. Controversy. EVER.

Nathan’s annual hot dog eating contest is the undisputed brass ring for all competitive eaters, but lo and behold, controversy has arrived. Controversy! Major League Eating (yes, it’s a real thing), the people behind the July 4 contest, decided to split the event into men’s and women’s brackets; however, the grand prize purse for the women’s title was just one-fourth of what was offered to the men: $2,500 for the ladies, $10,000 for men. Controversy!

After an uproar regarding the prize disparity arose, Nathan’s changed their tune, and will now offer $10,000 to both the male and female winner of the contest. Not controversial at all!

First we give them the vote, then allow them to drive and now women get paid to win eating contests? Man, we men can’t get anything for ourselves anymore.


Look, Japan ain’t perfect. Far from it.

However, there is still a line of propriety, though, and a certain New Hampshire politician’s Facebook status update certainly skirted it.

Representative Nick Levasseur went and noted the following on Facebook:

“Anime is a prime example of why two nukes just wasn’t enough”

This was not a good thing to do on the internet. RIGHTEOUS AND INDIGNANT FURY was (apparently) felt by many and then utilized throughout the numerous series of pipes and tubes that you’re reading this on. Now, does he have a point? Maybe. Possibly. We’re not really sure here at SG HQ, as we tend to lean more towards gaseous weapons rather than those of the nuclear variety (chili + Schools = one less third world country). But there’s a good chance that he possibly should have worded his phrase differently.

It begs the question, though: just how many more nukes would change anime to Levasseur’s liking?

Guess who just inherited dishes duty?

Video games are evil. They’ll rot your brain and kill you. After playing, all you want to do is smoke pot, drink alcohol, commit multiple heinous felonies and become a malcontent for society. Nyeh.

These are all the sundry words spewed against gamers. It doesn’t matter if they’re totally untrue-they make great headlines. Of course, you know what makes a hilarious headline? When the victim is a gamer.

62-year-old Malcolm Palmer killed the mother of his three children after she became addicted to Grand Theft Auto. Carol Cannom, 46, apparently drove her partner mad by dragging a 37-inch plasma TV into the main bedroom and spending the entire night on her PS3. Malcolm was forced onto the sofa in order to get any sleep.

But wait, there’s more.

The PS3 was bought for their ten-year-old son, who would be allowed to play until midnight each night. Once he’d finished, the mother would take over until five or six in the morning. Malcolm also believed that Carol somehow had time for an affair, and turned violent when he was ordered out of the house, and told he’d never see his kids again.

He then inflicted 20 wounds with two knives, and the attack was overheard by their son, who dialed 999 (the equivalent to 911). Palmer grabbed the phone off the boy and said:

“I’m sorry. I think I killed her.”

Palmer’s defense lawyer is clinging to the gaming as a means of justifying his client’s attack, claiming that the

“Genesis of the tragedy bizarrely lies with the purchase of a PlayStation.”

Bizarre is right. Unfortunately, thanks to the ineptitude of the article, we’ll never figure out exactly which version of Grand Theft Auto it was. Sadly, the world may never know if the voice work of Ray Liotta, Young Maylay or Michael Hollick. And they call themselves professionals.

Nintendo DS: the latest secret terrorist

Rampant PSP fanboyism can totally be seen in households.

A mother in Indiana is currently kicking up a stink after discovering an alleged religious vaguely Islamic secret terrorist gibberish gobbledygook message in the Nintendo DS game Baby Pals. Purchased for her 8-year-old daughter, the game speaks a phrase of gibberish that sounds kind of like “Islam is the light.” CONTROVERSY ENSUES.

This would be hilarious if the woman’s history wasn’t so pathetic patriotic. Rachel Jones discovered the offending utterance first in the Fisher-Price’s Little Mommy Cuddle ‘n Coo doll, then later coincidentally in a copy of Baby Pals she had purchased for her daughter. Meaning that Crave and Nintendo are nothing but secret terrorists. Clearly.

Fun Fact: Baby Pals came out in October 2007, a year before the row about the doll.

“Not just my daughters’ toys, but we have a son too,” Jones told Terre Haute’s WTHI News 10. “Now I feel like I need to listen to all of his little toys to make sure they’re not saying it.”

Fun Fact: The ability of fake babies to exert absolute influence on real children through nonsensical endorsements of religion is well-known. And it’s science. American science.

No word was given on whether the word “light” used in the phrase was meant as “light” or “Lite”.

Oh, that maverick!

If there’s one thing a maverick can’t stand … it’s a maverick?

As the French say, such is life, in regards to the latest news from the John McCain presidential campaign. McCain aides are growing increasingly frustrated as vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin continues to not use “the remarks [they] sent her on the plane.”

They now have a term for when Sarah’s “just being Sarah:” “going rogue.”

One campaign source–unidentified, of course–painted an even more interesting portrait:

“‘She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone,’ this McCain adviser said. ‘She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else.

‘Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.'”

Fortunately, we’re not voting for the reckless maverick that speaks off the cuff and rejects party lines for vice president: we’re voting for the straight-talkin’ maverick that scripts talking points for his vice presidential candidate.

(Did your head just explode?)

You took my old idea–give it back!

CBS’s newest show, Swingtown, is no stranger to controversy. Before it even aired for the first time on this past Thursday evening, some people were calling for the heads of the producers due to events taking place in the show that they hadn’t even seen yet not happen! Shocking!

Well, the hits just continue to keep on coming. An angry Swingtown viewer wants to sue CBS, because he used to work at New York City’s sex palace Plato’s Retreat and he totally had an idea for a TV show about swingers, like … 20 years ago.

Personally, I can understand his plight. It’s just like that time I said that it would be cool if dinosaurs still existed and then Jurassic Park ripped me off! I mean, I had been saying that since I was at least 4, and what happens when I’m 9 years old? The movie comes out! That monster!