So, you think you’ve got Christmas spirit, eh? With your giant nativity scene, Night Elf Mohawk ears and Ralphie bunny suit, do ya?
Well, just like everything else you endeavor in life, an astronaut’s got you beat.
Astronauts aboard the space station get not one, but two (TWO) Christmases. No, they’re not all the children of broken marriages. They celebrate the real one on December 25 and then the Russian one on Jan. 7 where everyone exchanges the same exact present.
(Hope you like vodka rations.)
Two Christmases may seem like a good idea, especially when you’re flying, but we’ve heard this all before:
So, it turns out that there are costumed heroes roving the streets of Cincinnati. (Seriously, watch the video.)
Yeah, I was surprised, too. I thought Cincinnati burned down shortly after WKRP was canceled. But, no: Shadowhare, your friendly neighborhood guy-who’s-obsessed-with-Donnie-Darko-and-Watchmen, patrols the streets with his band of presumably twenty-something-year-old friends, talking to homeless people, annoying (yet, entertaining) cops and even communicating with other likeminded individuals online.
The first thing that came to mind was, “Where did I go after The Guys’ last get-together: The Absinthe-Minded Professors.” (We watched both versions while drinking absinthe and, after running out, then concocted our own “flubber.”)
So, on the drive to work today I heard some shill for the Make a Wish Foundation plugging his product on the Go Fish Radio Network.
(That’s the better morning radio show in Huntsville, AL. Its predecessor was, I kid you not, a show called “Rick and Bubba.” They remixed songs that were popular eight years ago to include annoying southern girls and rooster calls. They were rejected from Huntsville like a microwaved baboon heart transplant.)
You’re probably thinking, “Oh god, you hate the Make a Wish Foundation?”
The Russian Academy of Science partnered with Okayama University (Japan) and the Sapporo brewing company, which proves that beer can unite even the staunchest of rivals. Who could forget Tsarist Russia’s humiliating defeat by the Imperial Japanese Navy at the Battle of Tsushima in 1905? Anyone with a zero-G buzz.
Thanks to this successful effort, the possibility of space rice wine (Sake!) has been proposed by Japan. Of course, the Russians are looking at growing potatoes in the near future.