Hovering: one giant, sustained leap to animal dominance

It’s taken years of advocating by the Guys, but it appears that the nation’s greatest minds in engineering and science have finally agreed to study our most innumerable foe in the War on Animals: insects. Researchers from NYU’s Courant Institute discovered that the ability to hover is actually hindered by a lower weight distribution, while a top-heavy weight distribution enables more stable flight while hovering.

The U.S. military has announced that this research will aid the war effort by improving the design of existing and future hovering aircraft and by ushering in the timeline from Back to the Future Part II, in which the only animal threat existing by 2015 is a holographic shark.