Crazy for feeling so lonely when there are so many of us

As we prepare for the weekend, we leave you with this thought: is America going crazy? And we don’t mean in that general “oh my god, indefinite detention” or “unchecked tax-dollars spending” way, but legitimately bats%@t crazy?

Consider the case of what doctors are calling mass hysteria in a small town outside Buffalo, NY. 12 teenage girls from LeRoy Junior-Senior High School started displaying Tourettes-like symptoms of tics, stutters and shaking. The New York Department of Health has ruled out any infection, communicable disease, environmental factor or Justin Bieber proximity. And the parents are responding in a manner consistent with raising stressed out, mentally unstable teen girls: by calling the doctors liars on national television.

Then there are the results of the annual National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which indicate that 20 percent of American adults suffer some sort of mental illness, and 5 percent are cuckoo for seriously disrupting work, family or social life (and for Cocoa Puffs, but like in a Lizzie Borden/obsessive way).

If, after reading those stories, you started to wonder if your boss is a psychopath, then lucky you, for CNN has posted a handy, very scientific quiz online. And when you’re done, go ahead and print the results and send them to Human Resources. It’s not psycho to want your boss’ office if you prove they’re more psychotic.

Call it what it is

Remember when bathroom tissue was called “toilet paper,” or when prisons became “penitentiaries?” Well, the PC police seem to be at it again, in of all places, West Virginia.

There, the new owners of a 19th century hospital that has held many titles, have changed the name of the building back to the “Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.” This is causing a stir with people who find that term for the mentally ill, or as medical books refer to them, “nutsos,” is rude and should not be revived.

This blog must defend the new name. It is well documented that insanity comes from looking at the moon too much, which is where the term “lunatic” comes from. To deny this simple fact of god-fearing science is to deny reality. Or perhaps it’s the “asylum” part they find offensive. Should the crazies not have a safe place, or asylum, from the world? Shame on you, liberals!

One thing all parties agree upon is that watching West Virginians attempt to spell Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum should be a lot of fun.