cricket | SeriouslyGuys

Fine, but is the cat dead?

Graeme Swann, who is a star “spinner” for what we’re told is a sport called “cricket,” was pulled over for drunk driving because his cat got stuck in the floorboards of his home.

Well, first he was pulled over for driving a Porsche in a s#@tty neighborhood. Then he apparently sounded drunk when trying to explain to the officer that his cat had crawled into his house’s floor.

A blood test confirmed that he was 3 mg over the legal limit, but milligrams are as foreign to us as a sport where players dress like picnickers in Mary Poppins. So, we have no idea if he was really smashed or just booze-ness casual.

The story also fails to mention if the cat is still stuck in the floorboards.

A racist southern colonel? Preposterous!

KFC has found itself in an awkward situation after an Australian ad campaign made its way to YouTube sparking accusations of racism from its American audience. Looks like they’ve should’ve just double downed instead.

The Aussie “Cricket Survival Guide” commercial shows a white man in a crowd of cheering black cricket fans. The Australian fan, named Mick, asks “Need a tip when you’re stuck in an awkward situation?” and then hands a bucket of KFC fried chicken to the black fans. The YouTube video had more than 250,000 views Wednesday afternoon and viewers left more than 3,300 comments.

Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh……..

KFC Australia told Adelaide Now that while the ad could be perceived as racist, it was misunderstood by the American audience.

“It is a light-hearted reference to the West Indian cricket team,” the company said in a statement. “The ad was reproduced online in the U.S. without KFC’s permission, where we are told a culturally-based stereotype exists, leading to the incorrect assertion of racism.

“We unequivocally condemn discrimination of any type and have a proud history as one of the world’s leading employers for diversity.”

That’s some smooth damage controlin’ you got there. KFC Australia is now removing the television advertisement that was being run in conjunction with the Australian cricket season.

And it probably shouldn’t be hot pink, either

If you’re going to rob a store, you may want to actually have a weapon that will intimidate. A gun is an excellent example of this, however, a toy gun–not so much. We have seen this used in several movies, Made and Big Trouble just to name a few. But you know what happens when you use a fake gun to show people you mean business, they figure out it’s a toy gun.

That’s what happened in Alabama, when Rick Snee a man tried to rob a gas station. The store clerk was not so intimidated and pulled out a cricket bat. Seeing his error in bringing a toy gun to a cricket bat fight, the would-be thief took off running into the night.

Why the hell does a gas station in Alabama have cricket bat?

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