Tag: crime

Then again, there is the cost of gas to think about

Obviously a recession means people have less money and a rise in crime will occur. To help keep you safe this recession season, here’s a safety tip: if someone is stealing things inside your house, take their getaway vehicle.

That’s exactly what one man in Washington state did when two people broke into his house and tried stealing his electronics. The man was home when he heard burglars upstairs and called 911. He then noticed a van in his driveway with the engine running, so he took the van and drove off.

The burglars fled the house, most likely on foot, and were empty handed, since it’s hard to run from the scene of a crime carrying a flat panel television.

Sexual frustration > gaming frustration

News bite: A high school student, frustrated, over a recent gaming session at an Internet café in South Korea set light to a warehouse Saturday evening.

The 15-year-old told police that he torched the warehouse, located at the top of a four-story building, because “his computer games did not go well.” The fire did an estimated four million won in damage.

Nice going, kid. It’s good that Korea isn’t letting a nasty stereotype stop them from being socially awkward.

Police celebrate woman’s coming out party with trespassing charges

There is in the closet and then there is in the closet.

One Japanese woman was charged with trespassing after she was found in the closet of a man’s home. The only thing is, she wasn’t just passing through and wanted to see how much storage the house had, allegedly she had been living in the man’s closet for over a year. The man began to get suspicious after food kept disappearing from his kitchen.

This led the man to buy a home security system, which detected movement inside the house, but when police arrived, they found all the doors and windows were locked. The woman was found when they searched the whole house.

I drink swear anymore will I not

After 48 years of crime that he blames all on booze, John Burns has decided to give up the sauce. This after years of alcohol induced crimes that have led to him being convicted of robbery, breaking and entering, driving without a licences and most recently, driving the wrong way down a two way street.

Here at SeriouslyGuys we encourage that you give up booze after 24 years of alcohol fueled crimes, not 48. Or as we call it, twentyfloored.

Pee in toilet, kiss baby, pee in toilet, kiss baby, pee in baby, kiss toilet

Hartley-the golden streamer's manIn a tough election cycle, it can be tough for a candidate to make themselves stand out above the crowd. As one San Diego City Council candidate learned, peeing into a cup and masturbating on a public street in the middle of the afternoon is certainly one way to do that. That might cost him a few votes, but sometimes real leadership means do things that are unpopular, right? Plus, I’m sure that he’s locked into the “Urination and Globule” constituents.

‘These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks’

In most cases, if you’re holding a machete, you’re the one making the rules. However, this principle only works when the brain is used on conjunction with the machete. One of the brain’s most valuable functions is the ability to reason. Sadly, it is also the brain’s most fleeting of all functions.

Example: Robbing a bar may not be a particularly great idea. Sure, you’re armed, but you don’t know who else is. Odds are more than a couple of the establishment’s occupants have had enough alcohol to throw reason out the window and come after you. (“He’s trying to steal the money we just used to pay for our drinks! GET HIM!!!”)

So maybe then robbing a meeting hall of some sort. They have cash registers, right? Two Australian men had just such logic. They paid no heed as they walked past rows of motorcycles in the parking lot. They began to rob one room, demanding the patrons get on the ground. In the next room a local biker “club” was having its monthly meeting.

You can guess how it went from there.

The greedy, greedy zombies

In 2001, a Hungarian man was reported dead by his wife, who was obviously distraught. There was no body to be found, so the courts waited in 2003 to declare him deceased.

But then, last year the man rose from the dead and started staggering around, no doubt craving for brains. He and his wife were later arrested and charged with fraud, because they had apparently had over $1 million in life insurance on the man. Sorry, zombie punk! It’s called life insurance, not afterlife insurance. This serves as a reminder that the undead are indeed out there and we need to take care of them now with some swift justice.