Tag: criminal charges

You should’ve seen the preferred version

Please note: this headline might be considered Not Safe For Work.

Also note: we’re not really sure we’d like to know if there’s a wanted version to be found.

Also note 2-Electric Boogaloo: Since this took place in Australia, isn’t it called a didgeridoo instead?

Reefer madness destroys Olympic Gold Medalist

The “squares” in Washington and the clergy have been trying to warn you youngsters, but clearly you haven’t paid attention: marijuana is a dangerous, dangerous drug and nobody is immune to its ill effects.

Even the greatest young people aren’t immune to its devil charms. Michael Phelps, the gazillion-time Olympic Gold Medalist, may face pot charges after a photo of him smoking a marijuana pipe reached the Internet.

The American hero was minding his own business, making a publicity/inspirational appearance at the University of South Carolina. He found himself at a party, enjoying records and talking to nice girls.

All of a sudden, in walks Steve, an English major, who offers everyone a “party favor” from his “magic party vase.” Steve’s a nice guy and really into art and clothes; who would suspect that he was on a suicide terrorist mission to destroy the lives of all his friends and Michael Phelps?

(We would. Also, Steve’s clearly gay.)

Marijuana works against the body like so:

  1. The smoke is inhaled into the lungs, where it is sent with oxygen to the brain.
  2. THC, a chemical in the smoke, makes the brain go wonky and creates the world’s most longest, most annoying jam music.
  3. Adults find out you’ve been smoking marijuana and get angry.
  4. You go to jail for contributing to the estates of the surviving Grateful Dead.

So, for the love of God and America, don’t get caught smoking marijuana. The parents will never shut up about it.