Their first album was better, they’re sellouts now

Remember when the terrorists were angry, angst-ridden, had poor hygiene and general hatred of everything that is America? Yeah, man. It was 2001, and terrorism was the scene. I remember hearing about new and emerging terrorist groups on TV that were gaining popularity with their anti-corporate message.

It was just like grunge music.

And like grunge music, the harder, angrier side has given way to a less secure, depressed undertone. While modern terrorism today claims its roots in the good old days, it has grown into something that would make Kurt Cobain roll over in his infidel grave.

Just look at Umar Farouk AbdulMutallab, the man authorities say tried to blow up a plane on Christmas. Only a few years ago, he was a lonely, pitiful, confused teenager reaching out to Muslim chat forums for friends.

“‘First of all, I have no friend[s],’ he wrote in another online post with informal, imperfect grammar. ‘Not because I do not socialise (sic), etc but because either people do not want to get too close to me as they go partying and stuff while I don’t. or they are bad people who befriend me and influence me to do bad things.

‘i have no one to speak too, no one to consult, no one to support me and i feel depressed and lonely. i do not know what to do.'”

He allegedly can’t even set his underwear on fire correctly. Emoooooooooo.