Tag: crumpets

The McBournie Minute: George Washington and muscle cars

This country has enemies–there’s no secret about that. But there is one enemy America has had as long as it has existed. I am speaking of course, about England.

Sure, we are now great allies and enjoy a special diplomatic relationship with our former mother country, but just like with a great friendship, everyone has their spats. For most of the world, it’s easy to hate the English, because they have colonized, waged war against, or simply subjugated for centuries.

So when the U.S. soccer team played England on Saturday, I, like so many other Americans, watched my first soccer game, and pretended I was excited about it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: George Washington and muscle cars

Obama is British, too???

Just when it seemed like Obama was just about everything (black, white, Hawaiian, secret Muslim, a woman named Frieda), John McCain peels off yet another layer off of this onion of hope: he’s also British.

“He’s always been in the left lane of American politics.”

The left lane, people, like where the British drive.

You know who else was British? Great Britain. And they also liked to raise taxes: on tea, paper and podiatry. Fortunately, one man stood against those foul-toothed masses and shipped their bangers and mash back to Englandville. That man was John McCain.

So, who are you gonna call when Prime Minister Barack Obama taxes your crumpets and gives them to the unwashed poor? John McCain, who also remembers the Alamo.

His plan, of course, is to continue our system of taxing people with little to no money and give it back to the wealthy who were born deserving it. That’s the American Way™!