Dan Snyder is a sarcastic enigma wrapped in a $1000 suit

HTTR! is a really weird way to abbreviate “Eat a dick, Matt!” Maybe it’s Latin?

In 2019, Dan Snyder will have owned the Washington Redskins–and all the terrible decisions that organization has made–for 20 years. 20 years, people. People voted in the 2016 election who have never seen reasonably competent team ownership of the three-time NFL champions.

Of all the allegations about how Dan Snyder has dragged his favorite team to equal footing with the Cleveland Browns, none have accused him of understanding sarcasm. Satire, he certainly does not get after suing the Washington City Paper.

So, one enterprising fan tried to appeal to his Snydership with honey before pleading with him to make better decisions this year. Lifelong Redskins fan Matt Fraedrich thanked Mr. Snyder for being a true fan of the team before asking him to “please be very deliberate about the decisions that are made behind closed doors,” and, among other requests, “please give Kirk Cousins a long-term deal that makes him happy to be Redskin, even if that means making him the highest-paid player in NFL history.”

In return, Mr. Fraedrich got an autographed full-body photo of Dan Snyder.

So, does Dan Snyder not get sarcasm, thinking this “fan” really wanted his autograph? Or is he its greatest practitioner? Like any truly great act of sarcasm, intentional or not, we don’t even know anymore.

Eat My Sports: Best and worst of the trade deadline

Stop your complaining about me not addressing the Brett Favre issue yet, I’ll have plenty of time for that when Aaron Rodgers commits himself to an asylum.

The media circus last week revolved mainly around the trade deadline, who (specifically Manny Ramirez) was going where, and who was going to get what. In one of the busiest deadlines I’ve ever witnessed, we saw three future Hall of Famers get shipped, and some for some questionable returns. You know what time it is kids, time to find out who got the good, and who got screwed. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Best and worst of the trade deadline

Eat My Sports: Quarterly calls

Officially past the quarter mark of the 2008 MLB season and we’ve had some surprises, some things we’ve expected and the last place Yankees. We’re going to size up the top teams in each league, then give you the one team to look out for. Us in the sporting world call this the “wild card,” look it up.

AL East
At 31-20 the newly christened Tampa Bay Rays have the best percentage mark thus far. I really like the Rays, their young talent is spry and standing tall like a seasoned porn vet. The longevity of this club to sustain season-long success isn’t going to hold though. It’s going flop like Ron Jeremy staring down a donkey. Don’t expect the Yankees to finish in the cellar, but don’t expect them to beat out Boston or Tampa either. The Rays’ pitching will falter down the stretch, and look for the Sox to take the crown, but the Rays in the wild card. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Quarterly calls