Tag: david carradine

The McBournie Minute: Some people don’t need their 15 minutes

You may have noticed, but right now, it’s not really a good time to be a celebrity. That is of course if you like being alive. David Carradine, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson (not to mention Billy Mays and some actors who hadn’t worked in 20 years, but let’s stick with the big ones).

Celebrities seem to be kicking the oxygen habit left and right, and this is generally a bad career move. Some can take this as a strange coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidences (ever notice how Tuesday always follows Monday? Why is that?). Clearly, there is something behind all the celebrity deaths, and I think I know just what it is.

We have too many damn famous people and its time to cull the herd. You see, media moves faster today than it did in a month just 10 years ago, and the entertainment industry tries its best to keep up. This means that we get tired of people faster and faster. After all, you can only watch someone’s star rise so far before you’re ready to see it come crashing back to Earth in a crazy, often drug-fueled, plunge. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Some people don’t need their 15 minutes

Shadenfreude: Light at the end of the tunnel

It always seems darkest before the dawn. Reality television has struck new lows this year:

  • Clowncar vagina moms
  • Crossovers between the worst shows by the worst “celebrity” couple since Hitler and Eva’s home movies at the Eagle’s Nest
  • MILFhunting

It’s enough to make you kill yourself in a tragic masturbation accident, just because waking up is hard to do. Well, put that silk curtain cord down and fire up your room’s Mr. Coffee, because Schadenfreude will make everything right again.

Unless you're making a cup for someone you don't particularly like.A French court has ruled that reality TV performers are owed salaries, overtime compensation, holidays and even damages for wrongful termination when eliminated or voted off of their shows.

This means that reality “stars” are now as expensive as professional actors, and the returns for reality shows will be on par with creative, scripted television.

So, sure, we’re eliminating some Schadenfreude opportunities of sub-human attention whores climbing greased ropes to stay on an island with no food … but that’s what the DMV is for.

And also, mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

David Carradine wins the ‘beloved actor’ game

Fame is a fickle mistress, much like the sea, only not as wet and the boats are soundstages.

In Hollywood, you can be famous for the roles you’ve played or famous for an astounding number of anti-semitic comments during your DUI arrest, and neither of those mean people care about you. The real testament to true fame and being beloved is how the public responds to your death.

David Carradine is dead and twitter mourns. People genuinely liked him and are affected by his loss.

It makes you wonder who else will inspire posts like this?

  • David Schwimmer? Unlikely.
  • Ted Danson? Only if he takes Guttenberg and Selleck down with him.
  • Andie MacDowell? Depends on how Groundhog Day holds up (so, if Bill Murray keeps his nose clean, then yes).

Only time will tell. In the meantime, goodnight, Mr. Carradine, you prince of not-being-Bruce-Lee.