Texas mulls cost of feeding murderers to lions

Texas, the executioniest of all the states, kills so many inmates a year that it had to streamline the process a bit. From here on out, condemned inmates will no longer receive a special last meal.

Instead, they will receive standard prison food because, as Texas state Senator John Whitmire put it, “It’s a privilege which the perpetrator did not provide to their victim[, except for that one guy in Se7en who was fed spaghetti until he died. Have we considered doing that, like for some food-based crime like poisoning?]”

Anti-death penalty activists are kind of OK with this decision, saying that the tradition was a pointless exercise in false mercy, and also because of the number of inmates requesting asparagus just so the room will smell for hours afterwards.

The new policy is expected to save money on often uneaten meals, but should it still slow down the execution process, Texas prison officials may consider switching up to Taco Bell and Easy-Mac.

Tattoo Discrimination Update: It’s on

On June 19, 2008, I wrote a post that made fun of people highlighted in a CNN article about being too tattooed to work in the United States. Some of you out there took offense. I hear you.

No, really: I hear you. I hear you in emails, in comments (new ones today), on the riverboats where I play high stakes video poker … I’m sick and tired of hearing you.

I even pretended to take your side on November 26, but nobody bought it. You got me: I was being funny again.

You keep telling me that you’re upset that I could be so discriminatory. Well, I think you’re all talk, Internet tattoo people.

In response to the latest bout of me-bashing in the threads (by a Christian, no less!), I’ve thrown down the gauntlet and issued a challenge:

If you can show me one (1) photograph that proves there is a non-tattooed prisoner on Death Row …

I will get a tattoo. And I will publish it on this site.

And on your web site, too, if you have one, proving to your friends how smart and influential you are (despite your ink).

I will seriously do this. So show me what you’re made of, painted ladies and gentlemen of the Internet.

Again, I am serious. That’s what I do: I’m a SeriouslyGuy.

Email all pics (like they exist!) to rick.snee@seriouslyguys.com. Make sure you tell me who’s in the picture and what they’re in for. I will also post this up on our Web site to show you bested me.

Note: Do NOT send me pictures of tattooed professionals or super-nice people, trying to prove that not everyone who has tattoos is evil. We all know there are a lot of stupid nice people out there, and tattoos are really popular right now. Just like Britney Spears.