Spider-Man: Does whatever a libruhl can

Following Sarah Palin’s attack on the media … to the media, other unfortunate GOP mouthpieces are tripping over their shoelaces to cry about unfair tactics.

The latest big nasty libruhl elitist? The Amazing Spider-Man.

Debbie Schlussel attacked the decidedly campy inauguration issue, where Spidey foils a plot by the Chameleon to ruin Obama’s big day, as “[embodying] their far-left ideology.” He almost got away with saving the President, if it wasn’t for “the fist bump!”

Look, folks, let’s get something straight here: they’re absolutely right. (Not just rightist.)

The news media is all written by one person, Al Peterson. (Notice the eerie similarity to Al Qaeda?) Al writes for all news media publications out there. If it doesn’t attack conservatives, then it’s not a news piece … because Al didn’t write it.

The same goes for comic books. All those writing credits and different publications are just a front for one actual comic book writer, and boy oh boy, does he hate Republicans. Sure, every president since FDR has been saved by every comic book superhero, but it’s all in how they do it.

For instance, it’s pretty cool to be saved by Spider-Man and be called a hero. It’s not so cool to be saved by Aquaman, who then asks you for cab fare back to the coast. (You know, because your economic policies failed.)

So, if you’ve been personally insulted today by news you didn’t want to read, chances are you’re a conservative, and yes, we will feel your pain. (Pussy.)