Take it from Snee: Explaining Democracy to Foreigners, Children

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Explaining [U.S. political institution] to Foreigners and Children! But, more importantly

Congratulations on downloading and installing Democracy® on your PC or Mac-based national operating system! Upgrading to Democracy® from previous systems of government may include complications, particularly if replacing a strong arm dictator that ate up all of your resources. This manual should help you navigate the pitfalls that may occur when new users attempt to operate unfamiliar Democratic™ applications, like FreeSpeech™ and FreeWorship™.

Egypt and Libya: technically, this is your appointment at the Genius Bar®, but I hope you won’t mind if others (like the aforementioned children) follow along. However, do not attempt to bootleg and share Explaining Democracy® to Foreigners and Children (© 1789) with unlicensed Democracy® users, as this violates my copyright and your warranty.  Continue reading Take it from Snee: Explaining Democracy to Foreigners, Children

Take it from Snee: Pros and cons of surviving 2011

Whenever I approach a new year, I like to take stock of what I survived. I like to think of myself less as a time traveler stuck in forward linear motion at an uninterruptible rate and more of a time warrior, cleaning out the runners of my time sword as I prepare to skewer another year.

So, here’s an entirely subjective list of what went right and wrong in 2011 before greeting Bolon Yokte as an old friend at midnight, Jan. 1. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Pros and cons of surviving 2011

Pol aiming for Pole’s poles at polls

Polish singer Sara May (a.k.a. Katarzyna Szczolekis) is running for a Warsaw district council seat, and she’s found just the means to win Maxim international votes. Her latest campaign posters feature her in a bikini, lounging on the sand and captioned, “Beautiful, independent, competent.”

Hailing from the country that brought back democracy after the Greeks ran it into the ground, we’d like to say that this is a disgrace and should cost her the election, but it worked in Massachusetts.

Remember: aim for the head

Folks, there is a lot at stake in this November’s election. But somehow the stakes just got higher. This election, has now heard from another demographic, but this time one that we should fear. We’ll let the headline speak for itself:

Dead veterans happy to rock again for Obama

Yes, zombies seem to have endorsed Sen. Barack Obama. Worst of all, these zombies seem to have military training and musical prowess. This is the worst kind of zombie. It is a bigger threat than simply running for office, stealing money from us or acting, they are trained to kill and much worse, jam for 20 minutes on the same song. Citizens, we need to hunt down the undead now!