Dentists inflict craft on hapless Valentines

For some people, Valentine’s Day is the worst day in the world. Couples and card companies join forces to rub sex and candy into single people’s faces.

This year, however, was worse.

Dentists across the U.S. lured countless patients into their clutches to do what they love most: to denter. Or to dentrify. Dent? Whatever.

The point is that they performed free procedures on unwitting people, inflicting even more pain. “Happy Valentine’s, here’s a root canal out of the goodness of my heart.”

This may be the worst gift since that scorching case of “love bumps” that we got from Free Whorehouse Day in ’04. (Thanks a lot for that idea, Chugs.)