Who says the U.S. Senate can’t agree?

Ask any person what’s wrong with the country, and inevitably they’ll answer, “The Kardashians.” But, if you press harder and say, “Yeah, I know, but really?” Then they’ll say it’s our dysfunctional Congress.

And who can blame them? Almost every Senate vote of the past three years has been threatened with the filibuster, and even when a bill does pass, it only does so by a narrow margin on the basis of party lines. And seriously? Paper visual aids.

But, something amazing happened on the Senate floor Tuesday: not one, but two unanimous votes.

The first was to keep potatoes on public school lunch menus as part of an amendment to the 2012 agriculture spending bill. Co-sponsored by Senators Susan Collins (R-Maine) and Mark Udall (D-Colo.), the amendment prohibits the Agriculture Department from setting “any maximum limits on the serving of vegetables in school meal programs.”

And the other? A 99-0 vote to prevent the Justice Department from selling guns to Mexican drug cartels ever again, which means more for us, yay!

You can’t freedom-ize cow guts

The U.S. government is reconsidering its ban on Scotland’s national dish haggis.

The Department of Agriculture has shot down rumors that the sausage – made by rolling the cooked innards of a sheep (its heart, liver and lungs) in oats and pepper, then stuffing it in cow’s intestine and boiling it – will be allowed in the United States any time soon.

The Scottish delicacy has been barred from this country since the late ’80s mad cow outbreak in the U.K. Oh darn.

At the request of Scottish officials, the USDA is reviewing the risks of the dish and the ban on it, according to The Associated Press. USDA spokeswoman Lindsay Cole issued a statement saying reports that the ban will be lifted are incorrect and though the latest science is being examined, no timetable has been set for a decision. Haggis is getting another look in this country because Scottish Rural Affairs minister Richard Lochhead asked U.S. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack to clarify the government’s embargo, the AP reported.

“We want to allow American consumers to sample our world renowned national dish,” said Lochhead. “They should be assured Scotland has an excellent reputation in animal disease surveillance and prevention.”

Scottish haggis producers are happy at the prospect that it might be allowed in the U.S. after all these years.

“This is long overdue and I’m glad the U.S. authorities are coming to their senses,” master butcher Neil Watt of Watt the Butcher in Montrose, Scotland, told the AP. “The haggis you get in the States does not taste like proper haggis.”

Jo Macsween, director of Macsween’s Haggis in Edinburgh, believes removing the U.S. ban would be good for business and says Americans who visit Scotland are “eager to try” the national dish.

“We believe there is a big market to be tapped,” he told the AP. “Once [Americans] have tasted it, they generally love it and become enthusiasts.”

At least one American isn’t enthused about haggis, however. Former President George W. Bush told the AP he had no desire to try the sausage at the 2005 G8 summit in Gleneagles, Scotland.

“I was briefed on haggis,” he said. Attaboy, George, attaboy.

Your government keeping you safe

It can be said that the U.S. Department of Agriculture is one of our best allies in the War on Animals. No other federal agency promotes the slavery and wholesale slaughter of animals. (The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is really all about protecting the animals.)

So when dead birds were turning up in Franklin Township, New Jersey, it came as no surprise to us that the good ol’ Department of Ag was behind it. Hundreds of dead birds, English starlings, to be exact, dropped dead all over the town, making the sidewalks and streets squishier than ever. In all, 3,000 to 5,000 birds are expected to be whacked via pesticide. The only problem is, no one told the locals about the birds falling from the sky.

The feds are saying the starling is invading the barn homes of native bird species. But then again, are barns a natural habitat? Burn the barns and kill all the species at once.