Tag: department of education

Creationists officially become my new enemies of the week

Ho-boy, creationists just became the top of Chris Taylor’s Poop List. New York City’s Department of Education has announced words that it may ban in all standardized testing for its schools. Two examples are “birthday” and “Halloween,” and don’t get me wrong, those are big words to ban, especially because of potentially offending religions.

But there’s another word that’s being bandied about as being banned and that is an action that cannot be condoned: dinosaur.

EVERY SINGLE BOY BETWEEN THE AGES OF 4 AND 58 LOVES DINOSAURS. Dinosaurs were the most amazing creatures ever as a child. To ban their use, simply to not offend creationists, a form of religion that science has proven to be stupid, is offensive to me.

Make the smart move NYDoE: don’t ban the dinosaur.

A push-up? Eh, good ’nuff

Taking a page from the Department of Education, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has lowered their exercise expectations. They once suggested working out 30 minutes a day, five days a week; now they can live with two hours a week.

So, that leaves you a lot of options. You could go for a 10 mile run once a week and then carpool to your garage the rest of the week, or you could count each time you get up from your seat as one of 200 reps at the office.

Basically, all you have to do is get out of bed everyday and try not to roll to the shower and the government says you’re fit enough.

See what you’ve done, America? You’ve turned our fitness gurus into hapless enablers.