‘Aloha, mahalo for all the fish’

There are many foes to humanity in the War on Animals. Some are more obvious than others. While the hedgehog has quills that disperse the most virulent strain of AIDS in nature (citation pending), people still think they make cute pets.

But, there’s no question when it comes to sharks. It should go without saying that sharks are one of man’s oldest enemies. Why, if you open their stomachs, you’ll find SCUBA tanks inside. That’s right: they don’t even bother to outright eat humans, just take our air and leave us to drown.

So, why does Hawaii Governor Linda Lingle love sharks?