Christmas in England means dick for dessert

They celebrate Christmas a bit differently in the U.K. For example, they say “Happy Christmas,” which is just silly. They also eat some very different holiday foods. And this year, the big dessert hit is Santa’s Dick.

The creation is a confectionery log sort of thing its creators call a “seasonal twist on Spotted Dick,” which somehow the whole country can say without laughing. The difference is that where Spotted Dick has raisins in it, Santa’s Dick has spiced apples. And you can only find Santa’s Dick at one pub in the U.K. this holiday season.

Key Quote:

“I thought there was a hole in the lady’s dessert market that needed filling and I think Santa’s Dick does just that.”

Mars needs women! (No fat chicks)

Alright, Mars: is it moderation if we eat your candy over a dollop of frozen yogurt?
Alright, Mars: is it moderation if we eat your candy over a dollop of frozen yogurt?

When it comes to junk food, we’re used to companies disregarding our actual health to convince us to eat only their products and as much of them as possible. For instance, Jack’s Links telling us that beef jerky’s how professional athletes build muscle mass or Gatorade saying we haven’t defeated dehydration until Lemon-Lime seeps out of our pores.

So, it comes as a surprise that Mars, the company responsible for M&Ms, Snickers and Skittles, wants out of the fast food dessert market. They want to discontinue providing their candy for McDonalds McFlurries, Dairy Queen Blizzards and Burger King Snicker Pies because we allegedly eat too much of it. (No word if they plan to stop The Guys from stuffing Skittles into Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and shooting them with root beer floats.)

Mars is ducking out of fast food desserts to convince people to eat sweets in moderation — and this is news to us, but, apparently, combining ice cream and candy isn’t moderation.

Well, you’re not the boss of us, Mars! (Not until our manned space program finally provokes your intergalactic overlords on the red planet.) We can buy our own candy and sprinkle it into our own ice cream. And, if your goal was to raise your stock by making us eat more candy in protest, then you win!